They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. Communication is the backbone of any relationship, and that means talking and listening. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? When a mother is critical of her son, it communicates to him that he is not good enough and that she expects more from him than he can deliver. So be sure to show him how much you care. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? Here are some signs that the son in question feels like he can never please his mother: 3 The mother is critical and constantly finds fault with her son. It may not seem a stretch to imagine a son hating a mean, harmful mother, but some sons truly hate their mothers, despite the moms being utterly caring and loving. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. This way, they can mend their relationship. If you think this is the reason your son is treating you badly, its important to take a step back and reassess how you interact with your son, and make sure youre not smothering him or overstepping boundaries. The son feels like he cant please his mother. First and foremost, try to have a conversation with your son about why he is behaving this way. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. Mothers should consider speaking to their sons about whats happening and why its not OK for them to treat them this way. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. Disclaimer regarding normal parent-child roles: There is the exception of the changing child-parent relationship when the parent is aging and the child takes on a care-giver identity akin to parenting. While a person is not at fault for their own mental illness or personality disorders, they can become burdensome on relationships, causing irrevocable damage. What does this constant meddling say about sons who hate their mothers? Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2','ezslot_21',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-2-0'); Narcissistic Personality Disorder: People with NPD are rude, self-centered, demanding, and feel superior to all others, including their parents. Please love your mother too. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. This can lead to many fights and arguments between the two, which will only worsen things. This will bolster the young child's ego. Sometimes, its because their parents had trouble showing how they felt. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. This will also teach him how to make good choices and give him confidence in his abilities as well as his independence from you. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. These could include unresolved anger, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. 6. She takes unwelcome liberties in her sons relationships. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. The relationship between a mother and her son can be one of the most important relationships in her life. Parents tell stories of ill-spoken words, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. But unless he continues. If possible, schedule the meeting in the evening or on a weekend. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or hes going through some issues. When a mother starts to make her son feel guilty for doing things without her. Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. You should also encourage him to express his feelings in a respectful way. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Whats tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Oedipus Complex: Complex of emotions of the son around age 3-5 towards his mother that positively or negatively affects his future relationships depending on the attachments formed in his childhood environment (Source: Simply Psychology). In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. He may start to believe that he will never be good enough for his mothers approval. Instead, they should write from the heart and focus on being honest about how their sons behavior makes them feel. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. A son who has a destructive relationship with his mother will likely have an unhealthy relationship with others. Other times, sons may be mean to their mothers because they are going through a tough time in their own lives and take it out on the people closest to them. If youre a son and your mother is physically or mentally abusive, this can have a huge impact on your life. This can be very frustrating for the son because he does not have a chance to express his feelings to his mother. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. There should be a special bond between a mother and a son, in some cultures, it is revered and celebrated. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_16',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');In addition, he will hate his mother more if he feels she has disrespected his relationships. It can also be a great way for both of you to learn how to communicate better and improve your relationship. He needs to make mistakes and learn from them, which he cant do if youre constantly scolding him or telling him what to do. Its tempting to get involved in every little thing that goes on in your sons life, but this is one of the worst things you can do if you want to establish healthy mother-son relationships. Your email address will not be published. Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. Some young men will be influenced by their peers or even older family members and mistreat their mothers. __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)","hsl":{"h":2,"s":0.8436,"l":0.01,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"6cd47":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}, __CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"f3080":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"f2bba":{"name":"Main Light 10","parent":"f3080"},"trewq":{"name":"Main Light 30","parent":"f3080"},"poiuy":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"f83d7":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"},"frty6":{"name":"Main Light 45","parent":"f3080"},"flktr":{"name":"Main Light 80","parent":"f3080"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)"},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"l":0.09,"s":0.02}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"f3080":{"val":"rgb(23, 23, 22)","hsl":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09}},"f2bba":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.5)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.5}},"trewq":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.7)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.7}},"poiuy":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.35)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.35}},"f83d7":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.4)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.4}},"frty6":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.2}},"flktr":{"val":"rgba(23, 23, 22, 0.8)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":60,"s":0.02,"l":0.09,"a":0.8}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__, What to Know About Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly: Forging A Path To A Mutually Respectful Relationship, Tell-tale signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship, Controlling mother or an overbearing mother, Physical or mental abuse from other people or the abusive mother herself, Influenced by the medias bad boy behavior, Son has a toxic relationship with a romantic partner, with his peers, or with a dysfunctional family, The mother treats her daughters differently, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Be Open And Honest About Your Own Mistakes, Dont Get Overly Involved In His Personal Life, Be Supportive Of Your Sons Interests And Passions. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. These sons also seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother. This can make them less receptive to their mothers attempts to help them with their problems or offer advice about how they should behave. If a mother constantly judges her son then he might end up resenting her for it because he does not want people to talk about him like that. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. If they've never owned their bad behavior, then it's never going to stop. It gets harder for sons to trust. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. They may disrespect their mothers because they divorced their father. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_1',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_2',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-4-0_1');.medrectangle-4-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. It may also damage his relationships with other women. In addition, the study showed that divorce also affects a sons outlook towards his parents and mother, specifically. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. 6. Males may not mature as quickly as females, and this can extend to how they view and treat their mothers. This way, they can mend their relationship. This can cause confusion and frustration for the son and may lead to disrespectful behavior. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. This can do further harm to the mother-son relationship. The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. It is also considered a normal way of parenting for mothers who have endured the same behavior from their own mothers. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. Listening will help you understand where hes coming from and how he feels about things. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. A mother must show her son that she loves him without being too much. Parenting Tips Usman Akram-January 6, 2021. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. Sometimes, this is because they grew up in a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the open. Whatever the cause, the loss can be heartbreaking. Dating a woman is a partnership. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or he's going through some issues. Mathew is a grad student, a retired successful international fighter, a black belt master instructor in several martial arts systems, and the instructor to hundreds of Little Ninjas that use him as a jungle gym each week. We laugh at the comical show, Everybody Loves Raymond, about Ray Barone and his dysfunctional family, but in reality, this overbearing mother and co-dependent son is no laughing matter. Some adult children deliberately abuse their parents and, if that is the case, then you should avoid this step. Disrespecting boundaries may start at a young age and continue through adulthood. And sometimes the reason can seem inexplicable. In some cases, sons may even verbally or physically abuse their mothers if they are feeling particularly angry or frustrated. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. Men will compromise in different ways with a mom as opposed to another woman. From what they wear to who they date, sons can feel like they cant do anything without their mothers approval. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Children can be rude because they havent lived long enough to know what else is out there. This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. Some sons are jealous of their mothers relationship with their spouse. This can be evidenced by the son constantly seeking approval from his mother or always feeling like he has to live up to her expectations. Sons who hate their mothers are rare, but exist. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. Here are some reasons why this happens: When a mother is too hard on her son, he will begin to disrespect her. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. I have tried it all, name it. Remember, he is still learning how to be an adult. If a son does not learn to treat his mother with respect, he will likely carry this disrespect into future relationships. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. As a mother who knows the pain of an adult child's rejection, I formed an online community and wrote a book to help parents abandoned by adult children: Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. When he comes home from school, dont just ask him what happened todayask him how he feels about it. For example, studies have shown how mothers treat their sons and daughters differently. Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. Its important to set healthy boundaries when it comes to parent-child relationships. If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. There are many reasons why sons might treat their mothers poorly, but some of the most common reasons include: lack of respect, feeling neglected or unimportant, feeling like they have to compete with other members of the family, and feeling like their mothers are too controlling. The son ends up resenting this behavior and his mother. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. First, try to avoid criticism. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. From superhero movies likeSpider-ManandBatmanto music videos featuring artists likeDrakeandChris Brown, young men are exposed to a range of masculine behaviors that they may not be equipped to handle. But what happens when a mother is mistreated by her son? 4. Let them donate toys they dont need. How To Survive Financially As A Single Mom: 13 Actionable Tips To Fewer Money Woes! For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. A son is a lot like a reflection of you. Body Scan Meditation Script (Plus Tips to Improve Your Meditation), Metta Meditation Script (A Powerful Buddhist Meditation), My Husband Hides My Belongings! Hopefully, these tips have helped you understand whats going on in your sons life, and how best to support him both as an adult and in your parent-child relationships. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. Here are a few tips for dealing with sons who treat their mothers poorly. The nature want us to love our parents, it is a natural part of life. A distant mother-son relationship is one in which there is little emotional closeness or intimacy. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. Many sons treat their mothers poorly and make their life miserable. Because in a healthy family world, all children are treated equally. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. These sons (and mothers) have varying backgrounds and cultures, and come from all walks of life. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! So as great as it is that women are encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. For example, a study in the academic journal Personal Relationships examined how adult attachment styles are influenced by how close the mother was to her children. This can lead to the son feeling overwhelmed and helpless. You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. If you must meet with your son to discuss something that he is doing wrong, try to wait until a time when he has had a chance to relax and unwind. Mothers who micro-manage their children make them feel like they can t function without Mom. This goes full circle to show your son how much you care, that youre human, and that youre willing to go to great lengths to build a healthy mother-son relationship. This site does not constitute psychological or medical advice, please consult licensed psychological or medical professionals in your area for psychological or medical advice. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. Step 1. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. A mother who controlled her son may feel it is okay to control his spouse, but this will create a further wedge in the relationship. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Simple 3-Minute Meditation Script Thatll Change Your Life! Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. Your son needs to learn how to take care of himself and manage his relationships with people, even if theyre not family members. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. Things change. The dysfunction of the mother-son relationship will always affect his other relationships, in either big or small ways, whether the son likes or not. This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. In todays society, young men are bombarded with images of what it means to be a man. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. In conclusion, it is clear that sons who treat their mothers poorly are likely to have a number of underlying issues. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. Some of the most illuminating writing on the mother-son relationships comes from William Pollack in his book Real Boys, where he describes how men are forced into a "gender straitjacket" and how mothers can reinforce these norms by encouraging them to suppress emotion. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. Where Can I Send My Out Of Control Teenager |20 BEST PLACES, 35 Reasons For Marrying Your First Love (Pros & cons), Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me | 45 Sign Hes Cheatin. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. This means that she looks to him to make her feel good about herself and she bases her own self-esteem on his approval. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. But why? You can tell a lot about a man by the way his mother talked to (and talks to) him. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. Therapy can be a great tool to help work through issues and get to the root of the problem. If your mom seems lonelylike she doesnt have any friends or interests outside of youthat could be a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. Not showing her love or affection as a mother. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. Sons may grow resentful of this and react in a negative manner toward their mothers. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. The people youre son (and anyone) chooses to hang around with have a huge impact on their lives, its something to take very seriously. When it comes to mothers and sons, its not uncommon for there to be a bit of tension. Other times, a son might act out because he wants attention from his mother. But if you grew up in an unhealthy family, you might have noticed that your own mother gave your sister more freedom than you, or she was much more controlling over them. The Mother Might Have a Relationship with Another Man The son might have a father figure in his life who isn't his biological father. "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, 'This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.' Many sons feel that their mothers try to control every aspect of their lives. They respond poorly to critique and have a high need for excessive praise. When kids are young, its a good idea to teach them to care for other people. This type of abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in the son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. "There!" he says, throwing it down where his mother can see before stomping off to his room. Sons can also feel suffocated by mothers who are overly involved in their lives. This is the most obvious sign that a mother-son relationship is unhealthy. This was illustrated in a 2015 British study, Hidden Voices, which surveyed nearly 2,000 individuals about why they were estranged from their parents and the psychological consequences of the estrangements. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Why are some sons so mean to their mothers? But it happens, and happens for a number of reasons. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. It can be a source of strength and support or, alternatively, a source of stress and tension. This reason is related to #2. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. When a son feels this way about their mother, they may be less likely to respect and listen to her later in life. The login page will open in a new tab. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. It also means making rules to guide your child and disciplining your child when needed. She has provided him with food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities all of his life. She has three degrees in the field of education, been department chair of several grade levels, and interim principal in Los Angeles. They're also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. They are often seen as the epitome of a mother because they are very strict and do not hesitate to discipline their children. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. Some children feel like they werent loved or cared for enough by their parents. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Your son is not the only one who has ever done thisand he wont be the last. The key to a healthy mother-son relationship is communication. If she just calls you up to talk about how youre doing in school or your plans for the weekend, it might seem like she only cares about making sure youre happy and healthy. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. When you see him being kind or giving, praise him. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. The one emotion boys are allowed to show? Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Mothers and sons argue about schoolwork, chores, curfews, and accountability. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. The mother might use guilt trips or other manipulative tactics to try to get what she wants from her son, who will often feel like he has to give in because he feels guilty about not giving her what she wants. 0. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. (Source: Healthline). Pointing out the opposite is the most effective method of curing selfishness. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. Shannon is a mother of two boys and one girl. Overstepping boundaries can take on many forms, from the mother being overly involved in her sons life to being controlling and manipulative. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. Is it really possible for sons to hate their mothers and if so, what do we need to know about this?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_5',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. With proper medical care, it is possible for sons and mothers to repair their relationship but this isnt guaranteed; and its especially difficult when adult sons with illness need to continue to live with their parents as a result. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. A son will not simply begin hating his mother overnight. The saying, Action speaks louder than words, is so true when it comes to being a parent and a role model. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. This could be because the mother cheated on her husband or because she remarried and her new partner adopted or had another child. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. 91 4 If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. They all get the same attention and affection and are encouraged to do the same things in life. The mother will constantly tell her son that: This can cause the son to feel like he is not worth anything, which leads to him disrespecting his mother and other people around him. 1. They may be mean people, full stop. It is possible for a man who hates his mother to still find happy relationships as an adult, but there will be a disordered component, too. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! If you believe your mother is treating you differently because she sees you as more masculine than feminine. Controlling mothers also believe their sons are more of a possession than a child. An enmeshed mother-son relationship is one in which the boundaries between the two are blurred. For this reason, divorce should not be taken lightly (and I argue, if at all) because it leads to the breakdown of the family unit, which can lead to the breakdown of parent-child relationships, too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1','ezslot_22',600,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-1-0'); Sons with mental illness or personality disorders can become difficult to live with, especially for their parents. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. This can often lead to increased bad behavior, such as lying or stealing money from his parents wallets. A son may feel like his mother doesnt trust him and that she thinks hes incompetent. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. He talks badly about his mother and/or all women. This can include things like son talking poorly, being disrespectful or rude, and even acting out violently towards you. Control is also evident when mothers make decisions for their children without consulting them first. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. When this happens, children tend to distance themselves from their parents because they no longer feel loved or respected by them. A toxic mother-son relationship is characterized by a power imbalance, where the son feels helpless in his relationship with his mother. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. The overly controlling mother This form of parenting is seen quite often in mother-daughter relationships. Its important to note that mothers are not always aware of their own abusive tendencies, so be sure to speak up if shes being cruel or neglectful. There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to communicate effectively with your son. Make sure you show him how much you believe in him and what he can do, and dont forget to give him compliments when he succeeds at something. Whatever the reason, its also important to remember that the relationship between mother and son is very complex. 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